Over two years ago this little guy came to live with us. He was two years old, scared and hurt. As we opened our home and hearts to him he began to trust us and the construction of a relationship began.
Each child comes with their own special issues and it takes time for them to find the rhythm and routine of our home. They are not accustomed to structure or consistency and it takes many months of hard work for them to gain the discipline needed in order for me to keep the home running smoothly. With each new child the work starts all over again, but it is so rewarding to see the fruits of our hard work and such a joy to realize that it can be accomplished.
As a foster parent there is much craziness involved in my days with all the paperwork, visits and appointments multiplied by the number of children in the home, in our case five at the moment. One of the challenges of being a foster parent is that there is not alot of free time. This year, with all the children in school (pre-schoolers part time), I have about six hours a week of just me time, well except when I am sleeping (smile). So when one of these children are released for adoption my heart is heavy as I begin to ponder and wonder and pray and wait on the Lord.
At my age and as a single parent, I reason that it is better for them to have younger parents and to have a mommy and a daddy who are financially well off. They deserve to have the best that life has to offer. So many thoughts race through my mind (would it be right or fair, or perfect for their lives if I were to keep them? Am I being selfish?), it often takes months making decisions and having a sense of what God's plans are, then I wonder some more.
There are no guarantees that these children will have the "perfect" forever home, the system must be politcally correct in their decision making and no one is to be prejudiced out. What I do know is that I can be the best parent I can be, with the help of my Father, and also be a reflection of God's love to these children.
In those quiet moments when I ponder on all this, I am reminded that these are the Lords children and that He sends these precious treasures where He sees fit. He opens doors where He wants them opened and closes them where He wants them closed. For this child God has opened the door for adoption into our home.
With so much needing to be done to prepare for the adoption of this little guy it was a bit overwhelming as an addition to all the other craziness of our days, but we have finished the criminal background check, finger printing, home study and all the other paperwork involved in an adoption. He will legally become my son within the next few months! This is an exciting time for us!
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