NEW YEARS NEWS

At the start of the holidays my computer crashed. With the busyness of the season there has been no time for thinking about it, though I have missed this space. I am on a borrowed computer tonight and don't know how soon I will have a new one. With our upcoming travel to Southern California for two very special weddings I imagine it won't be for some time.

However, we had a wonderful holiday spent with family and friends, and received news that our adoption was finalized; of this little guy. We are very excited and thankful to God for bringing him into our lives and allowing us to call him son and brother.  The adoption finalized on December 29th; we are only waiting for his updated birth certificate giving him his new last name.  Celebrating after the return from our trip.  Delighted!

Wishing you all the very best for your New Year...

PLACEMENT STABILITY

When foster children leave their families to come into care it is important for them to be able to establish an attachment with the foster family. This helps lessen behavior and mental health disorders. It is a time for healing and where these children should find a stable and nurturing environment. It is our responsibility as foster parents to do everything we can to ensure that these children find security and hope in our homes. This will help, greatly, eliminate the possibility of multiple placements. In-other-words, moving from home to home. Finding ways to connect with the children is important to their well being.

Unfortunately, I so often hear of foster families that cannot handle circumstances surrounding a child placed with them and request that the child be moved. Though I understand that there are situations that warrant a move I firmly believe that with a little hard work and TLC on the part of the foster parent there can be positive outcomes, eliminating the need for a new placement.

As a foster family, I have found that by welcoming the children into our home unconditionally and accepting them as a family member, we have had mostly positive experiences. The children usually accept their new life and develop a sense of belonging and security. Consistently meeting their needs allows attachments to form and brings trust, and that is the goal to being successful. Is it a lot of work? You bet, but the rewards are great.

Every child has strengths and challenges, it is our responsibility to make foster care a place for healing and work through the challenges so that the strengths emerge and stability is established.

The goal is stability, this helps eliminate disruption and the need for multiple moves while in foster care. When a child has consistency and openness they have a general sense of control in their lives.

There is a significant portion of foster children that experience multiple moves during their time in the foster care system, commonly three or more moves. I don't know if there are any statistics to support it, but my guess is that a good portion are related to behavior and mental health problems in these children, and foster families unable to cope.

Over all, I have experienced that by meeting their most fundamental needs and by being consistent in boundaries and expectations, by forming stability and trust, giving love and affection, attachments form and with attachments I have found that the children in my care generally desire to please and make home a fun place to be.

HOME AGAIN

The Shore Pines and Ocean come together in the Pacific Northwest.

Had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend! Our stay at the beach house was just what we needed for a cozy weekend away with family. Lot's of nesting, eating, playing, walking, talking and loving.

We had beautiful weather on Friday and took a walk into town, visiting many of the shops. Stopped by the park for a swing and slide break for the little ones. Enjoyed the sunshine and the smell of the ocean on a crisp Novemeber afternoon.

Saturday, a bit overcast, but not too cold, took us to the state park up the road and some play along the beach. A lovely getaway enjoyed by all.

NO TURKEY FOR ME

Photo BHG

Heading to the beach house at Cannon Beach along Oregon's beautiful Pacific Northwest coast. A family dinner (that will include pork roast for those of the carnivores type) and some Outlet Mall shopping, but avoiding the Black Friday crowd.

Thanksgiving Dinner Menu

• Pork Roast
• Homemade Applesauce
• Roasted Carrots and Brussels Sprouts
• Garlic Sauteed Green Beans
• Mashed Potatoes
• Mix Lettuce Salad with Grapefruit Wedges and Avocado Slices topped with chopped Smoked Almonds and dressed in a Sweet Citrusy Dressing
• Relish Tray
• Homemade Pumpkin Dinner Rolls
• Sparkling Cider, in the Stemmed Glassware

• Homemade Traditional Apple and Pumpkin Pies
• Homemade Caramel Glazed Pear Cake
• Decaf Coffee
• Hot Spiced Teas 

Have a very happy and safe Thanksgiving surrounded by those you love.

HOLIDAY BROWNIES

November is the beginning of my baking season and one of our favorite treats are Andes Creme de Menthe Chip, brownies. This year I'm trying the Andes Peppermint Crunch Chip. Red and white peppermint candy represents the holidays (I think), so I'm baking up a batch with the peppermint crunch, to test.

These brownies are sort of wonderful in that you've got a lovely moist brownie, where you toss in a few handfuls of the either the Andes Peppermint or Creme de Menthe chips, turning a plain brownie recipe into an appealing and delicious holiday treat.

Make up your favorite brownie recipe and add some of these Andes baking chips, your in for a treat.

Bowls and tins, measuring cups and spoons are pulled down from shelves and out of drawers, being readied for their seasonal use as we prepare for the joys of the coming seasons.

Next is the Christmas Stollen...

WE'RE GETTING CLOSER

November is officially National Adoption Month and what better time to celebrate our adoption! There is an adoption awareness event happening at Lloyd Center in Portland, Oregon, Here

I just received the adoption paperwork this week, which means we are getting closer to finalizing, and wouldn't it be wonderful if it could happen this month? The adoption worker stopped by and told me that this would be the last time she would visit, yipee!! If you think about it, please help me pray that we can finalize very soon.

The road from the day I first met my little guy until now has been a long one. Two and a half years have passed since that day. It has been a road of many twist and turns, of uncertainty and anticipation. A road to building and growing a family.  One that has been amazing and life changing.

I've had this little one for more than half of his life. He came as a foster child uncertain of his future, but we've loved him as our own and he had become a family member long before now. He has always called me mommy, which is significant to me.

As I began this journey into Foster Care, I had little thought about whether or not I would adopt again. But Gods purposes are always made known as He opens and closes doors. I wanted to help, in some small way, make a difference in the lives of children that were taken out of unfortunate situations. I wanted to give them hope for their futures, to love them and be loved by them. I wanted to give back to my community in a way that would make a difference.  Little did I know the plans God had for me when I started out on this wonderful journey.

As we celebrate our abundance and give God praise for the many blessings he pours out on our lives, we wait.

WHAT IS A FOSTER PARENT?

The Merriam Webster dictionary says to foster is to "promote the growth or development of" or "to give parental care to."

As a foster parent I am providing a home and a safe environment for the children in my care.  I show them that life is good and model good and appropriate behavior.  I do things with them that they may never have had the opportunity to do with their own families.  They are provided nutritious meals, clothes and toys to play with.  They are taken to doctor and dental appointments regularly.  Most importantly they are given lots of love and affection, opportunities to express themselves and learn to deal with their emotions while in my care.

When children are brought into care there are many changes going on in their lives, often they are leaving everything familiar to them behind (families, friends, schools, pets ect).  This brings alot of emotion and I am part of a team helping the children work through their emotions.  It is very important for the children to have a peaceful place to live.  All children need role models and this is especially true for children who come into foster care.

I have many challenging opportunites, but these children benefit greatly by the love and support they are given through a good foster family.  With research that shows foster children being at risk of becoming poor Americans in society it is my responsibility to advocate  for them and to get them the best educational opportunities possible while they are in my care.  Teaching them  adequate life skills so that they can be more successful is also a responsiblity that I take seriously.

My responsibility as a foster parent is to be a team member, a skilled caregiver, avocate, a behavioral managment specialist, a parent, teacher  and a multitude of other skills.  The decision to foster parent is life changing and requires the involvement of the entire foster family, it won't work otherwise.

I am a colleague among the child welfare team and have a voice in decisions being made for the children in my care. I have the responsibilities that many traditional families have, but also have responsibilities to the child welfare system.  Keeping informed about special needs children and meeting training requirements are part of what is expected of a foster parent.  This helps keep us on track and knowledgable of how to work with the special needs of the unique and individual children in our care.

There is nothing greater than knowing that, as a foster parent, I can make a difference in the lives of these children.  That I can help direct them down the right path, see them transformed and have a future and a hope.