THE POSITIVES OF FOSTER CARE

So often we hear the negatives about foster care, but let's talk about the positives of being a foster family.

Children in the foster care system are tough to care for because of the neglect and abuse they have suffered in their lives, but they are not impossible to care for. There are many of us who enjoy doing it, so the trials associated with this type of work don't seem like work at all.

If we go into it with an attitude of "how can I help" "how can I make a difference in this persons life" and by keeping our minds and hearts open, making no judgment, but loving and appreciating family enough to want to help them overcome their obstacles and succeed, by being positive and extending ourselves in every way, keeping expectations low, but hoping for the best, in the end there is something to be gained; knowing that we have done our very best.

I have been given a lot of appreciation for the care I give the children in my care. From the social workers and attorneys to the bio families and I find it rewarding to know that my work has been validated.

As a foster parent we can't be afraid of facing problems. If we welcome challenge and the work involved in problem solving, if we want our lives to count for something that is really important to our society, then I can't think of any better or rewarding way than by helping a child in the foster care system.

Being a foster parent means giving up a lot of our freedom. Taking in children means creating problems in our homes, but it also means that we have an opportunity to give back to our communities by helping strengthen and preserve families. I can think of nothing more rewarding.

LET'S TALK ABOUT AUTUMN

The Pacific Northwest is a lovely place to live. We live in wine country and everywhere I look right now I see natural, beautiful scenery. Plump grapes are ready for harvest and leaves are turning red, gold,orange and yellow. Everywhere I see signs of the season changing.

Candied Apples and Carmel Corn are also signs of the changing season and something that we look forward to each and every year. Apple orchards and pumpkin patches are inviting this time of year. Hay rides, a corn maze, apple cider, frosted mornings, apple and pumpkin pies, crunching dry leaves underfoot and leaves rustling in the trees all represent this delicious season.

Whenever I hear the Canadian Geese overhead I know that we are well into Autumn and realize that it is time to prepare my home for the coming winter. For the snuggling in and hunkering down before the hustle and bustle of the coming months activities. Autumn is a time for enjoying a slower paced season as the family draws closer; for lingering just a while longer with a mulled cider, coffee or tea. It's a time for gathering my thoughts in preparation for the season ahead before the cold of winter arrives.  Autumn is the transition from summer to winter...my favorite season of the year.

HARVEST TIME

A small crop of  ripened Concords in an inherited Vintage Mirro Seven Star Colander. The second batch of grapes that have been harvested, deep purple and sweet. Juice concentrate to be preserved  for use in the months ahead.  Fragrant and delicious.

This colander full (about 12 cups) made two concentrated bottles of juice.  I made two other bottles a week earlier so four bottles of juice concentrate was a good yeild for my first year of fruit from just two grape vines, this will give me eight pitchers full.  Makes me happy!

HE BELONGS WITH US

Over two years ago this little guy came to live with us. He was two years old, scared and hurt. As we opened our home and hearts to him he began to trust us and the construction of a relationship began.

Each child comes with their own special issues and it takes time for them to find the rhythm and routine of our home. They are not accustomed to structure or consistency and it takes many months of hard work  for them to gain the discipline needed in order for me to keep the home running smoothly.  With each new child the work starts all over again, but it is so rewarding to see the fruits of our hard work and such a joy to realize that it can be accomplished.

As a foster parent there is much craziness involved  in my days with all the paperwork, visits and appointments multiplied by the number of children in the home, in our case five at the moment.  One of the challenges of being a foster parent is that there is not alot of free time.  This year, with all the children in school (pre-schoolers part time), I have about six hours a week of just me time, well except when I am sleeping (smile). So when one of these children are released for adoption my heart is heavy as I begin to ponder and wonder and pray and wait on the Lord. 

At my age and as a single parent, I reason that it is better for them to have younger parents and to have a mommy and a daddy who are financially well off.  They deserve to have the best that life has to offer.  So many thoughts race through my mind (would it be right or fair, or perfect for their lives if I were to keep them?  Am I being selfish?), it often takes months making decisions and having a sense of what God's plans are, then I wonder some more. 

There are no guarantees that these children will have the "perfect" forever home, the system must be politcally correct in their decision making and no one is to be prejudiced out.   What I do know is that I can be the best parent I can be, with the help of my Father,  and also be a reflection of God's love to these children.

In those quiet moments when I ponder on all this, I am reminded that these are the Lords children and that He sends these precious treasures  where He sees fit.  He opens doors where He wants them opened and closes them where He wants them closed.  For this child God has opened the door for adoption into our home. 

With so much needing to be done to prepare for the adoption of this little guy it was a bit overwhelming as an addition to all the other craziness of our days, but we have finished the criminal background check, finger printing,  home study  and all the other paperwork involved in an adoption.   He will legally become my son within the next few months!   This is an exciting time for us!

ON BEING A MOM TO MANY

I never imagined that I would be parenting five children as a single mom in her mid-fifties. When my life took a turn I wondered what would come of it, how I would go forward after two decades as a couple. At first were the months of anxiety and fear of the future, but as I began to find my footing God started to open some wonderful doors.

I have always been a stay at home mom, since becoming a mom. I hadn't worked outside the home in almost twenty years and didn't feel that it would be a good time to start, having young children that still needed raising.

I have two wonderful, adopted children, a daughter, from Mexico and the younger, a boy, from the U.S. My son was born heroin and methadone addicted at birth and was diagnosed hearing impaired at age 10. Because of his late diagnoses he has suffered a large language delay. We are working hard to narrow that gap before he starts high school in the next couple of years.

We have been blessed with a lovely home on a couple of acres of property out in the country, with room to grow. I have always wanted to adopt or foster more children, it was something that we often talked about as a couple. It was something that could never materialize while living abroad, in South America.

As I began to ponder my life and future as a single parent I realized the opportunity I had to fulfill my years long dream of adding more children to our home. It has been a journey of learning, loving and living, and I am truly happy to have chosen this path for my life. It has been a tremendous experience. When parenting children that have gone through very difficult situations and separations it is not always a positive experience, there are days when I am frazzled. However, I have been so grateful for the many opportunities I've been given in parenting all my children.

If I can make a difference in the lives of these children then I feel I have fulfilled a dream. They come and they go, but if they can take along a piece of any good thing that I've been able to give them then it has been a worthy sacrifice. These children have things to achieve and places to go in their lives. I love the discipline of approaching each day with open eyes for the needs of all of them, each with their own unique and individual personalities, and helping them find their way down the path of life. I look forward to what the future holds.

AND NOW WE HAVE SIX

A fun, sweet, energetic, sassy, smart, clever and helpful young girl has come to share our home and lives. All the elements to bring delight. Come, we're glad you are here.

I love growing a family...